My Daddy has just introduced what he is calling "Learning Days" into our routine. He tells me that these will be days when the WHOLE day is devoted to correcting some sort of behavior of mine. Daddy has asked me to explain how he treated me and punished me yesterday on this, our first "Learning Day."
Okay, here we go: First Daddy sent me a text message telling me to go and shower and clean myself (and of course shave every part of me) for him. I was then to meet him upstairs in the bedroom in my nightgown and socks. (Daddy likes nightgowns b/c he can have access to me at any time he wants me, and I secretly think he likes me to look like a little girl!)
When I got upstairs he told me that I was not to speak unless spoken to and I must begin every sentence today with "Daddy". He had all sorts of things laid out on the bed for me to see. While I stood there he lectured me about why we were going to have a "learning day." It was b/c I have a VERY hard time asking Daddy to go potty. It's not that I don't want to, you understand, I just think that there is some subconscious part of me that just sometimes refuses to give up that independence. Well, I was going to have to give up that independence today...Daddy had the diapers out.
After the lecture (and the explanation of how all the various implements would be used throughout the day) he pulled my nightgown up, bent me over the bed and left me there. He put all the things he was going to use that day to punish me right under my nose and he left to take a shower. I stayed there for about 15 minutes just staring at those things (rectal thermometer, anal plug, beads, Bengay etc.) My mind was whirling!
When he finally returned he told me that I was going to be in a diaper all day and would truly be his BabyDoll in every sense of the word, but first he was going to deliver several sets of spankings. They were VERY long and VERY hard. By the end I was a crying sobbing mess. He took me in his arms...dried my tears and led me over to where he was going to change me. I have never been diapered before and it was a truly terrifying experience at first...so much so that my legs and arms were shaking uncontrollably as Daddy made me drink a HUGE glass of water very quickly! But Daddy made it feel very sweet and gentle as he swaddled my bottom in the soft cotton diaper. (After taking my temperature of course!) The diaper felt comforting against the heat of my throbbing bottom, and I let him lead me out of the bedroom. Daddy took a seat on the couch and had me curl up next to him. I snuggled right up under his chin and sighed with comfort. I knew I had more punishments coming, but right at that moment I was the happiest, and safest, BabyDoll alive!
By the way...the diaper thing? Not as easy as it sounds to actually USE them! When Daddy first told me that I would be using the diaper all day (with the exception of needing to go poopy), I did not anticipate how difficult it would be psychologically to "let loose" so to speak. I fought going peepee for a long time. To the point where it was REALLY starting to hurt. At this point I was pacing nervously and holding my legs together. Daddy saw this and he told me to come to him on the couch...he wrapped me in a blanket and put his arms around me and held me so tight! He told me that everything was okay and that I was safe. That he was my Daddy and would never let anything happen to me. After a few minutes of this, I finally was able to release myself and pee into my diaper. I cried and cried and shuddered the whole way through, the first time. There is such a letting go of all your most basic bodily functions and your sense of self reliance. I have NEVER trusted anyone so much as to give up this part of my most intimate self to them, but with Daddy, he makes it all okay. I know that he would never hurt or abuse me when I am in these vulnerable positions. He is the best Daddy in the world!
After the first few times peeing in my diaper it became easier. I still shook and cried the next few times, but every time Daddy held me, told me everything was alright and that he was SO PROUD of his BabyDoll. This made me SO happy. All I want to do is to please my Daddy! I love it when he says things like this and treats me like his good little girl. Daddy is very sweet an gentle when he is pleased with me. There is nothing worse than looking into Daddy's eyes and seeing disappointment there. It crushes me to my very soul.
So this is how our day progressed...Daddy would occasionally change me (always taking my temperature of course...what a loving and attentive Daddy!) and clean me and make me all sweet smelling again! This action of being diapered and changed is one that is extremely powerful, moving and can be frightening (i.e. loss of personal control). I became so comfortable with my diaper though, that I started peeing spontaneously and without any preparation or forethought. If I changed positions on the couch, I would just start to pee. If I coughed or sneezed, I peed. It was scary, titillating and one of the most moving experiences of my life!
However, I digress. I know that Daddy wants me to talk about the other "new" punishments he has added to his arsenal. At one point, he stood me up, bent me over, undid my diaper and shoved in my anal plug. Ouch! Too fast! But he just redid my diaper tabs and told me "matter of factly" that I would be wearing my plug inside the diaper until he deemed it no longer necessary. I was not happy to say the least. The plug has a tendency to fall out, especially when moving or walking and as Daddy had warned me...I did not want HIM to be the one to have to push it back in my bottom, so it had better stay in there. I HATE the anal plug! I couldn't wait to have Daddy remove it from my bottom!
He must have left it in for about 4 hours or so...until he finally told me that I may go to the bathroom to remove it, but that I was not allowed to USE the bathroom. I did as I was told and went back to snuggle in Daddy's lap. Daddy let me lay there a long time, enjoying the comfort and serenity I get from being cradled in his arms. I would occasionally go peepee and he would tell me what a good girl I was. It was all extremely intimate and very special.
When it was time for my next changing however, it was a different story. Daddy decided to try out his Bengay for the first time. We have read (from multiple sources) that this can be used on the bottom or up inside the rectum as a form of "silent" spanking. Daddy was going to teach me a lesson about asking to go potty. He said I never remembered, and this had to stop. Daddy would make it stop by giving me something to remind me. He then took a Q-tip and put the Bengay into my rectum.
For those of you who have never experienced this...wow! Does that ---- burn! As soon as he touched it to my skin it began to burn and the burn kept building in intensity for the first 10 minutes. I writhed around like a fish on a hook and whined and moaned to Daddy that it burned! He told me that was the point and that he hoped I wouldn't forget to ask to go potty anymore. After about 10 minutes of this I began to accept the sensation, as it was also beginning to plateau. (The Bengay burns like fire at first, then levels off into a steady burning and throbbing sensation, before it starts to lose its heat after about 30 minutes.) Daddy was very pleased with the way his new punishment was working out. (Even giggling several times at how pleased he was with himself and his new punishment "method") He has told me that this is how I will ALWAYS be punished now when we are out in public, or have people over. He will take me upstairs, or someplace out of sight and insert the Bengay into my rectum. He will then expect me to go back downstairs and act as if nothing had happened. We'll see how this works out...I don't know if I can stay silent through it!
By the end of the day, I was so tired and worn out (both physically and emotionally) that all I wanted was for my Daddy to take me upstairs, change my diaper, and tuck me into bed! Which he did with such love and tenderness that it astounds me! He crawled into bed beside me, cradled me in his arms and rocked me gently. Daddy also allowed me to suck my thumb. All was right with the world!
P.S. Daddy said he will buy me my very own pacifier!