Spanking in Tandem...

     The night before last, I was punished very harshly.  I had been very well behaved for the whole day!  Except for two teeny-tiny infractions...I made the mistake of saying NO twice to Daddy.  Daddy was not explosively angry or anything, he just told me that I would be learning my lesson about the word NO later that night.  All day long, I was dreading the thought of what he would do to me.  

     Daddy told me that I would be getting my punishment at 8 o'clock that evening.  When I questioned why, he told me it was because he had a "group" spanking planned.  We have another DD/bg couple we are friends with.  It turns out, the two "Daddies" came up with an idea.  A joint spanking via telephone at 8 p.m.  *yikes!*  I was NOT happy about that, to say the least.  

     When 8 o'clock came, the phone rang.  I immediately tensed up.  Daddy made some small talk and then he motioned me to come over to the couch.  He pulled up my nightgown and took off my diaper.  He then laid me across his lap while he talked.  I laid there while he tickled my bottom with the flat side of a wooden spatula.  Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he asked if I was ready; he asked his friend if they were ready.  They both put their phones on speaker and I awaited the first smack.  When Daddy finally connected the spatula to my bottom, it stung, but I thought well, at least it's not the BIG paddle.  Boy, I should have reserved judgement on that one!  

     That stupid little spatula put me in a world of hurt!  The more times Daddy struck me, the worse and worse the stinging got.  I reached the point where I was pleading with Daddy to please stop.  He would only stop to lecture me, and then begin again.  The whole time, I could hear my girlfriend getting hers, on the other end.  They were spanking in tandem and taking turns.  First I would get smacked and scream...and then I could hear her getting smacked and screaming.  I'm sure this would make for a very interesting social experiment!  It was terribly effective.  Not only did it hurt like he__, but it was embarrassing as well; to have our friends hearing me get spanked and crying. 

     By the time Daddy was finished, I was bawling into the couch pillow, and I could have sworn my bum was bleeding!  It wasn't...but I did have a few welts coming up; which are still there, by the way.

I promised myself over and over again, that I would behave better the next day...if only to save my a__!

     So on to yesterday...and the feat I was trying to accomplish.  Go ONE whole day without getting a sore bottom.  I was still having trouble sitting, and the welts had not gone down yet.  I was determined to be a good girl; and I was.  I didn't say NO, I didn't tell Daddy what to do and I didn't argue.  That is, until last evening.  :(

     Daddy and I have a business together, and we needed to make some big decisions.  We were discussing purchasing and ordering and things began to get a little heated.  Discussing money, and the lack of it, can send ANY couple into a tizzy.  I was trying to keep my composure, but I felt like Daddy was not listening to what I had to say.  He was not understanding the concept I was trying to explain, and I became extremely frustrated.  When I get upset, I tend to raise my voice...as do most people, I believe.  

     However, in OUR relationship I have given up the right to speak in raised tones and Daddy was having none of it.  He hauled me up off the couch and put me into the corner.  I was MAD!  I stood there huffing and puffing with my arms crossed.  I even went so far as to mouth off to Daddy while I was IN the corner.  *gulp*  He told me that if I uttered one more word, he would wash my mouth out with soap.  :(  I shut up.  You might think that this would be the end of my smart-mouthed behavior.  YOU WOULD BE WRONG!   

     I kept feeling like I wasn't being heard, and I was insistent upon Daddy listening to me.   I think I was only out of the corner 10 minutes when he told me to "get my butt upstairs...NOW!"  I did as I was told, but I was scared to death.  I knew my bottom couldn't take another paddling session right then.  But Daddy was kinder than perhaps he ought to have been.  He bent me over the bed, pulled down my pants and shoved a Bengay coated finger way up inside my rectum.  I immediately started crying.  I sobbed long heavy sobs; but in all honesty, part of it was because I was so relieved he didn't paddle me right then.  As much as the Bengay hurt, it wasn't a traditional spanking.  Daddy knew that I would have been unable to cope with that, so he went a different route.  And for that, I am actually VERY grateful.  

     Even when my Daddy is tough on me, he is always compassionate.  He will never take me to a place that I CANNOT go.  He will always read my reactions and emotions, and do what he thinks I need, and what is best for me.  I could not ask for anything more.  My love for Daddy grows deeper by the second...and I trust him with my life.  Happy Anniversary Daddy!   I love you!

Coming Out of The Corner...

     I stood there a long time.  Thinking about what I did, and what Daddy would do to me if I stepped out of the corner.  I figured that I could hold out for a pretty long time, but eventually, my legs began to go numb and I knew it was either sleep in the corner, or face my punishment.  I walked silently over to my Daddy, who was sitting on the couch.  I stood in front of him with my head down.  He told me to "look" at him.  I slowly raised my head to look into his eyes.  What I saw was not anger, but disappointment.  That is so much worse!  I can take Daddy being angry with me...what I can't handle is when I disappoint my Daddy.
     He gave me a long lecture about how I have submitted to him and what that means.  I no longer have the right to say no, I no longer have the right to refuse, I must obey.  I may disagree, but only RESPECTFULLY.  I may not act like a spoiled, little brat.  He asked me if I was still able to accept these conditions.  I slowly nodded yes.  I was ashamed of my behavior and wanted Daddy to forgive me.  He slowly put me across his knee.  I knew this spanking would not be a short one!
     Daddy began to spank me with his hand.  Slow, hard and methodical.  He would give me one set of spankings, then stop, lecture me some more about my inappropriate behavior...tell me how much he loved me and then begin again.  This went on for quite some time, until my bottom resembled Rudolph's nose!  When Daddy finally thought I'd had enough, he sat me up next to him.  He dried my tears, and rocked me while I sobbed.  I promised Daddy that I would never act that way again.  He said that if I did, I would face a much more severe punishment.
     After all of this, we were exhausted and went right to sleep.  The next morning when we woke up, I wasn't feeling too hot.  But I pretended I was okay...I didn't want to upset Daddy anymore than I already had (not too mention, I did not want Daddy to pull out his thermometer!).   Daddy told me when he left, that when he came home from work, we would be starting out right where he left off; punishment-wise.  *Gulp*
     But when Daddy came home yesterday, he took one look at me and knew something was wrong.  I was congested and feverish and Daddy said I looked very pale.  Well, that was all Daddy needed.  He went right into caretaker mode.  He made me some food, brought me medicine and tucked me into bed.  He was so concerned that he came to bed with me and held me close until I fell asleep.
     My Daddy may be strict with me sometimes, but it is only because he loves me so much!  I consider myself extremely fortunate to have such a wonderful Daddy.  I am the luckiest little girl in the world!

Naughty Little Girl

     So, yesterday was one of those days that starts out fairly well, but does not end as such.  It was a pretty benign start to the day.  We had an appointment first thing in the morning which we all (my husband, youngest son and I) went to together.  After that, we had a few small errands to run.  Then we met up with my mother to drop off our little one.  He was going to have a sleep-over at Grandma's house!  Daddy, and I, were VERY happy at the prospect of some truly "alone" time.  I guess I really should have been leery.  I was reminded rather quickly, that we were still in "Learning Day" mode.
     Daddy had let me wear my pull-ups, instead of the big plastic diaper, when we went out that morning; but after a four hours of meetings and errands, my pull-up was quite at it's capacity....and starting to leak.  *yikes!*  I couldn't wait to get home for Daddy to change me.  I should not have been in such a hurry.  When Daddy brought me upstairs to change me, the first thing he did was to put me into my "BabyDoll" dress and socks and hair ribbons.  Daddy then took off the wet pull-up and cleaned me thoroughly.  He then stood me up without putting a diaper on.  I knew what that meant.  :(   He took me over to the other side of the bed and bent me over.  He started to lecture me about how this was still "Learning Day" and that I would be paddled every time he changed my diaper, to ensure that I would not forget the purpose of this day.  I am NEVER to say "No" to Daddy, and I am NEVER to tell Daddy what to do.
     I am not sure what the exact reason was, but the paddling seemed much harsher to me today than before.  I asked Daddy if he was swinging harder, he said no, but he had read up on a few pointers of how to spank the most effective way...it was effective!  That first paddling was hard, but I got through it.  After which, Daddy put me in a fresh diaper and hugged me.  For the moment, I was very content.
     Daddy and I had a nice afternoon.  We made some appetizers, poured some drinks (mine, in a sippy cup of course!  Little girls don't get big girl glasses) and we watched movies.  It was quite cozy...Daddy made a fire, and we enjoyed each other's company.  The whole time, Daddy is feeding me drinks and I cannot possibly keep my diaper dry.  But I was DREADING the next changing time. Every time Daddy asked me if I wanted to be changed I said "No."  But eventually, I had to give in.  First Daddy set up a changing area in front of the fireplace.  Then he cleaned me, bent me over the end of the couch, and paddled my bottom, but good!  This one brought tears to my eyes.  What the fu__ is he reading?!  After that paddling, I figured I could hold my pee a long time!  But Daddy had ways around that too!
     At about 7 p.m. Daddy said it was bath time.  Yay!  I love it when Daddy gives me a bath.  He is so tender and loving.  He pours warm water over my back and washes me with a soft cloth.  I just let myself relax and enjoy the wonderful feeling of my Daddy taking care of me.  When it was time to get out, Daddy helped me up and out of the tub.  But instead of wrapping the towel around me, he immediately bent me over and put my hands on the toilet lid.  He had the paddle!  I cried, "Please don't Daddy!"  He did not hear me, or care.  Let me tell you...if you think the paddle on a bare bottom stings, try it when your skin is still wet!  :(   I was screaming quite loudly.  Daddy again repeated his lecture on why I was being punished and what I was to learn.  After this quick little paddle session, I tried to be very well behaved.  However, fate was NOT on my side last night.
     After a few drinks, I sometimes forget myself.  It was in one of these forgetful moments that I said, "No Daddy."  BIG mistake!  Daddy was on the phone at the moment with a friend of his who also practices Domestic Discipline with his wife.  The friend actually heard me say no, and Daddy was forced to react, which he did.  He hauled me off the couch as I tried to pull out of his grip.  I was trying to wriggle away from him, but he is stronger than me.  He pushed me over the end of the couch, pulled my diaper down and began spanking me with ferocity.  I had challenged his authority in front of another dominant male.  He had to prove his prowess and dominance.  If he had not taken me to task so severely, it would have shown him to be an ineffective HOH and Daddy.  He spanked me so hard I was kicking and flailing over the end of the couch.  Try as hard as I might to get free, his powerful arms kept me pinned down over the couch.  When he finally let me up I was so mad, I threw a tantrum.  I was stomping my feet and kicking things.  Daddy had finally had enough.  He grabbed me, shoved me in the corner and ripped my diaper off to expose my bottom.  He began taking my dress off too.  He said that bad little girls did not get nice, pretty dresses to wear.  I stood there...naked, shivering and sobbing in the corner.  Daddy said that when I was ready to be a good girl, and accept my punishments, I would be allowed out of the corner.  I stood there a long time, feeling hurt, dejected and even angry.  I wasn't sure if I would ever feel ready to come out of the corner...
   

Daddy's Baby

     I usually wake up super early.  On school days I am used to waking up at 5:45 a.m. everyday to make breakfast and lunch for my boys and the habit just carries over into the weekends!   Daddy was good enough to wake up just enough to change me.  Thank goodness!  It's quite hard to get much done in a full overnight diaper!  :/   Daddy told me to enjoy the feeling of being dry, because it would be a LONG time before I felt it again.  *Yikes!*   He informed me this was a "Learning Day" and we were focused on my use of the word "No."  Daddy said that it was NOT to be tolerated and I would have to think about that as I had to stay in my wet diaper.  This was extremely unpleasant!
     So, the morning went on as usual; making breakfast, doing the dishes, laundry etc.  The longer the day went on, the longer my diaper got!  I was terribly uncomfortable and was feeling quite embarrassed by this point.  It was quite obvious that I had a diaper on...and a very WET one at that.  I kept importuning Daddy to change me.  Every time I pleaded with him, he just smiled, laughed and felt my diaper.  Every time he would say, "That's not full yet!"  I was to the point that I was almost in tears, when Daddy finally turned to me and said, "Would you like to be changed?"  Well, I can tell you, I was up the stairs like a shot!  I have never been so happy to be changed!
     What I hadn't thought about, was the fact that Daddy had a spanking prepared for changing time.  The first thing Daddy did, after taking off my wet diaper and cleaning me, was to take my temperature again.  *Ick!*   Then he picked me up and took me to the "other" side of the bed.  This is where Daddy performs his punishments.  He bent me over and asked me if I knew why this was a "Learning Day" and why I was being punished repeatedly.  I answered yes, meekly.  My body was already cringing for what was about to happen.  Daddy then paddled my bottom, repeatedly stopping to remind me of the reason for my punishment.  I know he didn't use full force...he was saving that for later.  But it was hard enough to cause small tears on my part.  Daddy then stood me up and hugged me.  He asked me if I was alright.  I nodded and he lifted my face to his and he kissed me gently on the lips.  He said, "Come on.  Let's put you in a fresh diaper."  Daddy is always so gentle when he is taking care of me!
     We then went out to run some errands.  When we got home...we had some dinner and drinks and just relaxed for a while.  Eventually, it was time for me to have my shower and present myself for inspection to Daddy.  So, I did just that.  I showered, shaved and then Daddy dressed me in my little "BabyDoll" dress and socks and hair ribbons; but NO diaper.  I knew what that meant.  Daddy ordered me upstairs to wait for him.  He told me to go upstairs and when I got there, I would know what position to assume.  When I reached the bedroom, the pillows were stacked in the middle of the bed, with one pillow on the other side.  I am meant to bend myself over the pillows in the middle, bottom up in the air, and my face goes into the other pillow...to muffle my screaming.  THIS would be a BAD punishment.  :(
     He paddled me VERY hard.  Stopping in between sets to scold me, take my temperature, and to see if I was okay. ( Oh, there was also some anal play, see Daddy's blog for details on that.) Sometimes I wish he would just keep going and get it over with!  When he stops repeatedly, a paddling seems to last forever!  (But in all honesty, I don't think I could take a paddling that hard without the breaks.)  By the time he was finished, I was quite humbled and contrite.  Daddy held me, loved me, and then diapered me.  After all of that, I was so tired, I just curled up on the couch next to my Daddy, he put my pacifier in my mouth and I fell right to sleep.
     I am so grateful to my Daddy for all his love, care and attention...I am SO LUCKY!   :)

Again? What Did I Do?

     So...Daddy has decided to make this weekend another "Learning Day"...hey, it's not just one day, this started last night!  I was ready for my Daddy when he came home.  I was showered, shaved and dressed in my nightgown and pull-up; just as Daddy had wanted.   After we fed the boys...Daddy took me upstairs to change me.  He laid me down on the bed and took off my wet pull-up.  He spread my legs and cleaned every fold of "his" pussy very slowly and methodically.  Then Daddy decided to take my temperature.  Yuck!  I don't like Daddy's rectal thermometer.  While Daddy was waiting for the thermometer to register, he went down on me.  His lips were so warm and soft.  He gently licked and sucked at my "lips" for a minute or two, before removing the thermometer from my bottom.  I was running a small fever.  I know what that means...MORE temperature checks!   :(   After that, Daddy put me in my regular, plastic diaper (they are more absorbent and bulkier than the pull-ups) and we went downstairs.  (Did I mention that you can HEAR when I am wearing my "big" diapers?  The plastic crinkles when I walk...it's humiliating!)
     We watched some T.V. and hung out for a while.  I guess, I had really been holding it in (bladder-wise) and I soaked my first diaper pretty quickly.  I needed to be changed right away, and Daddy used the opportunity to instill some discipline.  When he brought me back upstairs...he laid me down and cleaned me as usual, but then he told me to turn over onto my tummy.  I did as I was told. Daddy began to spank me, quite forcefully, one cheek at a time and then both in unison.  He kept asking me, "WHO is your Daddy?" Every time,  I answered, "YOU are my Daddy!"  It wasn't a terrible spanking, but it did cause me to start whimpering.  When he thought I'd had enough, Daddy turned me back over onto my back and swaddled my stinging bottom in a fresh diaper.  (After a spanking, a clean, soft diaper can be quite soothing!)
     I was very sure to be good until bedtime.  And when we went to bed, I was doubly sure to give Daddy one heck of a BJ!  This pleased him very much...which was good, because I was trying to ingratiate myself with Daddy before he began the rest of this "Learning Day/Weekend."   I don't know what Daddy has in store for the next couple of days...but I will be sure to tell YOU first!  :)
     Right now, I am just sitting around, in my wet diaper, hoping Daddy will wake up soon to change me!  I dare not wake him up though...NEVER wake the sleeping giant!  I could incur his wrath!  ;)   Wish me luck this weekend...but, with my attitude, we ALL know I am never too far from a punishment!
                             Wishing everyone happiness and joy!

Rule # 3 Assignment

     Daddy is mad at me.  I was supposed to get 20 sets of spankings last night.  Due to reasons of both children and fatigue, I DID NOT receive my punishment.  Daddy told me, before he left this morning, that he had left me an "assignment" on his blog, which was in lieu of my spankings from the night before.  I am to write a paragraph telling you why saying "No" to Daddy is rule #3 in our house and the importance of it.   I am NEVER allowed to use the word "No" when talking with, or, to my Daddy.  I must phrase things, in such a way, as not to include the use of that word.  This is important in our relationship because Daddy makes all the decisions.  He is the "Head of Household" in our marriage and I must respect his authority as such.  I must never challenge his authority. When I used to tell Daddy "No", (Pre Domestic Discipline), we would have terrible arguments and fights.   I am ashamed to say that I have been using the word quite often lately and Daddy has grown tired of it.  He has given me this assignment to help me think about why I am to obey this rule, but also to remind me that I have quite a "Learning Day" coming up for this repeated infraction.  I am terribly nervous about this one.  Daddy has a look in his eye lately that I haven't seen before and I know that I have pushed him too far.  I am VERY sorry Daddy, for upsetting and disappointing you.  I don't know why I act this way sometimes.  I love you more than the whole world, and would do ANYTHING to prove it to you!  And now, for Part II of Daddy's assignment:

I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy                      
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy                            
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy                            
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy                            
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy
I will never, for any reason, say NO to my Daddy

                          There...100 times!   :(


P.S.  For those of you wondering...YES, I did type this all out by hand!  ( I actually don't know how to cut and paste on my computer! )

Feeling Better...

     I must be feeling better, because my mouth is back at 100%!  Daddy says that what I wrote in my last post was SO TRUE...when I am sick, my attitude turns off.  But I am feeling much  better now!  :)   Daddy is not feeling too well though.  I had to take care of him yesterday after he came home.
     With Daddy being ill, I was being "Head of Household" and I began to get a little "big for my britches"  so to speak.  I think I was also pushing his boundaries a little bit because I KNEW he was sick and there was no way he was going to feel up to punishing me.  ( Yes, I was taking advantage of that! ) Don't misunderstand...I wasn't being mean to Daddy, I was taking good care of him.  However, just perhaps, I was being a little bit bossy, and I may have told Daddy what to do once or twice... and I believe the word "No" crept into my vocabulary for the evening.  It was like having a little vacation for my mouth!  I knew that somewhere down the line, there would be a severe punishment coming for this behavior, but right in that moment, I didn't care.
     When we went to bed last night, I actually wore my pajamas with pants!  I am NEVER allowed to wear pants to bed.  This flies in the face of Daddy's strict policy for me about what I am, and am not to wear.  I must be dressed in a nightgown for bed.  Daddy says he must have access to his pussy at all times.  I am pretty sure the pants were what pushed Daddy over the edge.  He got up out of bed and grabbed the Bengay.  I just moaned.  He said, "Did you think I was going to let you get away with that?"  (Meaning, wearing my pants to bed)  He said. "What are you supposed to wear to bed?"  As he was asking me these questions, he ripped the pants, and underwear (which made him madder), off of me.  I guess he had a little strength after all!  Not enough for a "traditional" spanking, but quite enough for a "silent" one.
     He pulled me across his lap and spread my bottom open.  I could feel his finger going up inside me with the Bengay on it.  Let me tell you, that after all my "stomach" trouble the two days before, this was NOT a nice feeling.  The burn of the cream was much hotter and more intense than usual.  I instantly began whimpering and squirming around on the bed.  Daddy laid down next to me and held me, so that I could not move.  He held me very close and very tight while he quietly scolded and chastised me for my behavior that evening.  He kissed my forehead and told me he would NEVER let me get away with "that behavior" no matter HOW sick he was.  I suppose I should have known better, and I should have acted better.  He told me that this was just a small preview of what WOULD happen to me when he is feeling better...*sigh*    Can't wait!     ;)

"I Don't Feel Well..."

     Sorry for being absent from posting!  I have been wicked sick the last few days...and now Daddy has caught whatever it was that I had!  It started on Sunday...Daddy was actually giving me a spanking.  Not a terribly hard one, just a soft hand spanking as a small reminder that I need to be respectful to him. (I tend to get a little lax on this issue from time to time.)   While he was spanking me though, I just started bawling!  This is NOT a normal reaction for such a "light" punishment.  Normally, a reaction like this could only be achieved by a  severe paddling, or the like.  Daddy was concerned.  He knew something must be wrong, so he stopped immediately.
     He asked me what was wrong and I told him how I was feeling.  My head was throbbing, my muscles ached and my stomach was a mess...on both ends.  Daddy jumped into caretaker mode.  He took my temperature and brought me medicine.  He brought me cold water to drink and cool washcloths for my head.  He adjusted my pillows and held me close.  He sat up with me all that night, making sure that I was alright.
    The next day went much the same way.  Daddy gave me warm baths, fed me ginger ale and crackers and gave me as much love and tenderness as I could wish for.  When Daddy takes care of me, there is no better feeling in the world.  Unfortunately, now he has come down with the same thing.  He still went to work, of course, but only for a couple of hours.  Soon he will be home, and I can take care of him.
     So...by reason of sheer incapacity...I have been a VERY good girl the last two days!  :)   Isn't it amazing how vomiting can get rid of the smart-a__ in anyone?!   ;)
     Daddy has warned me that as soon as he (and I) are feeling better, we will be addressing some serious behavioral issues.  (Mainly focusing on how I behave in public...i.e. my obedience level)  He told me that the kids will be going away for the weekend and I will get ALL his attention for two days.  I am both looking forward to...and dreading this.  I know that Daddy has some new "toys" he wants to try out.  *Yikes*   I think I may need to do some serious drinking for that!  ;)

"WHO Makes The Decisions?"

     Yesterday, Daddy and I were faced with a decision which had to be made quickly, and I asked Daddy to make it.  There was a MAJOR snow storm here ( over 2 feet! ) and we needed to drive my oldest child to my ex-husbands house.  Now, I HATE being in the car in bad weather.  I tend to get very anxious.  Once he had decided that we should go, I became very upset.  I was not happy with the choice he made and I immediately began to question him about whether or not it was the RIGHT decision.  I should not have done this.  (I don't even think I realize WHEN I am trying to tell Daddy what to do.  It is not a conscious thing I am doing.)
    Daddy was not happy with me at all.  In fact, he even put me in the corner before we left the house.  I was pissed off and mad that we were going out in such bad conditions.  I stood there with my arms crossed and my face looking angrily defiant.  This made Daddy even angrier.  (I know it would have been a MUCH longer corner time if we had the time to spare right then!)  But it was getting late and we did not want to be driving home in the dark, so we had to get going.
     I was not fulfilling my role in our relationship.  Daddy is the decision maker...not me.  I am NEVER supposed to tell Daddy what to do.  I may SUGGEST, but never TELL.  I think this is the thing that I find hardest to adhere to in our "new" lifestyle.  I have ALWAYS been an extremely outspoken and headstrong woman.  Needless to say, I often find it very difficult to keep my mouth shut.  I know that I should...but knowing something and following through on something are two VERY different things.   Daddy very angry with me.  Throughout the whole car ride he kept asking me "Who is the decision maker?" and "Who is YOUR Daddy?!"   He also kept repeating that I would be getting punished for my behavior when we got home.  I told Daddy that I was wrong for questioning his decision and that I was very sorry.
     After we arrived home safely, I was NOT punished immediately, as I had expected to be.  Daddy poured us a couple of drinks and adjourned to the living room.   I made dinner, and afterwards, we watched some T.V.  I was very uneasy all evening, not knowing when or how Daddy would decide to punish me.  It was kind of like waiting for the other shoe to drop!
     After we tucked the little one into bed that night, Daddy put me in my special little dress he bought for me.  Daddy likes it when I am TRULY his BabyDoll.  I was kind of hoping I could avoid getting punished, if I behaved very well for the rest of the night.  I tried VERY hard to be good and not disobedient.
    Once Daddy and I were tucked into bed ourselves, I thought MAYBE I was going to get away with it!  I should have known better!  Just as I was beginning to drift off to sleep, Daddy sat straight up and pulled me across his lap.  He asked me if I knew why I was getting a spanking.  I said yes, because I was trying to tell Daddy what to do.  He spanked me for what seemed like forever!  First one cheek, then the other and always ending each set with one extra hard smack dead center.  (This hurts much more, by the way)  I don't even remember how many sets I received.  I just sobbed into my pillow.  I felt, embarrassed, humiliated and ashamed of my behavior.  When Daddy treats me like this, I regress mentally to the point where I am just his little girl; incapable of talking back, or disobeying him.  This, by the way, is the desired effect...I believe.
     It wasn't a paddling, but for some reason I cried like a baby.  I think, that the more subjugated I feel, WHEN Daddy punishes me, the deeper it affects me.  Don't get me wrong...it hurt!  But he has given me much worse spankings (usually with the paddle).  This particular spanking, however, really left me upset, shaken and vulnerable.
     Daddy clearly saw this.  When he was finished spanking me,  he pulled me so close and held me so tightly that I almost couldn't breathe.  He rocked me gently, soothing me with his promises that it was all over and that Daddy was there for me.  He knew that I was emotionally fragile and he treated me with kid gloves.  Kissing me over and over again, drying my tears and telling me that I was a good girl for taking my punishment.  When Daddy acts like this, my love for him just overwhelms me.  Because no matter HOW angry Daddy gets with me for disobeying him, I know that once he has punished me, all is forgiven and the slate is wiped clean.  There are no long, drawn out arguments or fights.  I accept my punishment and we move on.  This is why Domestic Discipline works so well for us.  We do not advocate this lifestyle for everyone, but for US...it saved our marriage!  And...WE HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER!!!

To Agree or Not To Agree...

     What happens when I disagree with Daddy's reasons for punishing me?  Well, I think this will generally be a case by case sort of thing, but I can tell you what happened THIS morning.
     Well, to be totally honest I had a small punishment carry over from last night.  In the midst of a heated discussion I called Daddy a curse word.  *yikes!*   And to be sure, when we went to bed last night, he DID discipline me.  He turned me over his knee, lifted my nightgown and gave me a good hand spanking (to start with...he said).  But in the middle of that, he was interrupted by our oldest, so I was reprieved from further "traditional" spanking methods for the evening.  Not silent ones though!  He made sure to put a LOT of Bengay in my bottom and rub it all around.  This was EXTREMELY unpleasant!  I was crying it burned so badly.  He told me that I was lucky because I had been spared the paddle just then.  But rest assured, he said, that I would be getting the paddle tomorrow.  Gee...I DO feel lucky!  (NOT!)
     The next morning was a busy one.  We all had to be dressed and ready to leave by 7:20 a.m. because we had a business meeting scheduled for 8 a.m. right after we dropped the kids off at their respective schools.  Needless to say I was feeling a little rushed and pressed for time today.  Between making breakfast for everyone, lunch for the kids, doing the dishes, taking out the garbage and trying to get 4 people showered and in and out of one bathroom, I was just "slightly" stressed.  When I am stressed, I tend to run my mouth.  (It gets a lot of exercise! :)  The surlier I became, the angrier Daddy became.  My unhappy "attitude" really rubs Daddy the wrong way and before we'd even left the house he had promised me a HUGE paddling when he brought me home.  To ensure I knew what was coming, right before we left, he sent the kids out to the car and he gave me a short but HARD bare hand spanking over the couch.
     This did NOTHING to improve my attitude for the rest of the morning.  I became more defiant than ever and Daddy and I quibbled and argued all the way to, and home from, our meeting.  After we came home, Daddy had me get the paddle from the bedroom.  He bent me over the end of the couch and pulled down my pants.  He asked me repeatedly if I knew why I was going to get paddled.  He reminded me of the night before and my indiscretion, and then he talked again of my "attitude" all morning.  Well, I didn't say much.  I agreed about the night before and that I deserved a VERY severe punishment for what I had said.  But as for that morning, I felt like I was just as entitled as anyone else to have a bad morning.  Why should I be punished for that?
     By the way, disagreeing with Daddy while your pants are down around your ankles and your bum is naked up in the air, is NOT a good idea.  I would say he DEFINITELY had the upper hand!  And he used that hand to swing that paddle!  One cheek at a time, over and over again and then plenty of whacks dead center.  I was screaming and crying for him to stop by the time he finally did.  The tears were streaming down my face and my nose was running.
     He came around me, sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap.  I buried my face in his shoulder and just wept with great big heaving sobs.  He told me that it was okay and it was all over now.  He used soft, low tones and said comforting things.  After a while, my breathing slowed and calmed.  We then had a discussion about WHY I disagreed with his punishment of my behavior this morning.  Daddy listened and apologized if he had flown off the handle too quickly.  Which I really appreciated.  Daddy said he doesn't ever want me to feel I cannot disagree with him.  I just have to learn to do it more respectfully.  I cannot be defiant and indignant.  I must address Daddy with the utmost respect at all times, and I had not done that.  I am sorry Daddy.  Thank you for listening to me and for validating my feelings.  I NEED that!  I love you!

Why? The "Psychology" Of It All...

     Well, here's an anomaly...I actually managed to stay "spank free" yesterday!  I know...I can't believe it myself!  But, after the last 3 days, I was ready to be good for at least a little while.   :)   So, I thought I would expound upon why it is, I believe, that I feel the need for discipline and structure in my marriage.  I don't know if it goes back to the fact that my parents were not strict disciplinarians.   I was a well behaved child, as far as they knew, and I always received straight A's in school.  My brother was always the one to act up, do poorly in school and get into trouble.  I was the "good" child.  There was only one incident of actual physical discipline in my adolescence that I can remember.  In that one instance, my mother slapped me across the face for talking back to her.  At the time,  I was a defiant 17 year old and I just slapped her back.  Obviously, this attempt at discipline was NOT terribly effective on her part!
     I do not believe in having deep-seeded psychological reasons for doing ANYTHING.  However, I can tell you that I was adopted as an infant.  It was the 70's and it was one of those "pre-arranged" religiously affiliated adoption agencies.  I know that my biological mother was 15 years old when she became pregnant with me and her parents shipped her off until she could have (and get rid of) the baby...meaning me.  (Since I have grown up I have met my birth mother and know the whole story.)  I know that she was not allowed to hold me after I was born.  Some nurse just whisked me out of the delivery room.  I also know that my adoptive parents did not come and "pick me up" until two weeks after I was born.  So for the first two weeks of my life (some clinicians say the most important  bonding period for an infant) I was not held, loved or nurtured.
     Now, I am not an excuse maker and I would never blame any of my problems, quirks or eccentricities on anyone or any particular situation.  But the older I get, the more sense I am able to make of how I have lived my life.  I have NEVER been able to get REALLY close to people.  And by that, I mean on an emotional level.  I have always been guarded.  I do not trust people.  I feel that most everyone is out for themselves and so one has to steel themselves against the world.  I think I did this at a very young age and it has affected how I have always conducted myself.  Never allowing yourself to be hurt is self-preservation rule number one.
     It wasn't until my first child came along that I felt the kind of love that moves mountains...the type of love that you would kill, or die for.  (Even with my first husband, I did not feel this.  I loved him, but not in the way a wife should love her husband...I don't think)  I thought that the intensity of my love for my children would never be rivaled by anything or anyone.  Until I met my Daddy.  My love for him is much different than my love for my children (obviously, as any parent knows) but it has the same depth, intensity and fire.  My love for my husband knows no limits.  There isn't ANYTHING that I will not do for him.  He needs only to ask, and I am honored and privileged to obey.
     My Daddy is the first person in my WHOLE life (including my parents) who has made me feel safe.  When I am in Daddy's arms and he is telling me that everything will be okay and that he won't let anything hurt me...I BELIEVE him.  I have NEVER had that feeling before.  Never had that level of security in anyone or anything.  One would think you would receive that type of stability from your parents.  I did not.  Please don't get me wrong, I have good parents who are, in fact, wonderful people.  I just think that they never knew quite how to "deal" with me.  I was the one who would never let them get close.  It is not their fault that I was emotionally withholding.  I take that onus completely upon myself.  I never have, nor ever will shirk my own responsibility.
     Which brings me back to my NEED for strict discipline and rules.  The structure of our Domestic Discipline Household is what I have always craved.  To have someone holding me accountable for my actions.  Not being allowed to "get away with things" is extremely important for my security.  When my Daddy is punishing me for something I have done, I know that he loves and cares for me enough to correct me.  When he lets my bad behavior slide, I feel insecure.  I NEED to know that Daddy is in charge at ALL times, otherwise everything feels out of balance.  I function much better as a wife, mother, friend and daughter when I am held accountable for my actions.  Don't we all?   ;)
                                             
P.S.  Just wanted to say Thank You to anyone and everyone who has read this blog!  I welcome any and all KIND feedback!  (No meanies please!  :)

Revisitation... Final Day!

     So Monday was the third and final "Learning Day".  Thank goodness!  (I don't know how much more "constant" attention my bottom could handle!)  Daddy and I had a bunch of stuff to do in the morning.  Our first appointment was at the accountants office.  We had to file out taxes, so we all got ready to leave the house together that morning and drop the kids off at school.  Right before we left, Daddy sent the kids to the car and I knew I was going to be punished.  Daddy turned me over his knee.  He reminded me that this was still a "Learning Day" and even though we would be out in public, I was still going to be punished.  He pulled down the pull-up he allowed me to wear and put a bunch of Bengay in my bottom.  He said, "That will remind you what day it is...at least for a little while."  It was not easy sitting still and not whimpering in the car...but I managed to...at least until the kids were dropped off!
     Once we got to the accountants things went pretty well.  I had been behaving myself very well, so far and Daddy was fairly pleased.  At one point, when our accountant left the room, he asked me if I had "used" my diaper yet.  I said no.  He asked why not?  I just shrugged my shoulders.  He told me that when she came back into the room, I was to "go" on command, or I would be spanked outside in the parking lot!  I did NOT want that!  (It's a VERY small parking lot and he has a VERY small car! People would have seen for sure!
     When she came back into the room, carrying the papers she had left to retrieve, Daddy looked at me and I did as I was told.  I relieved myself in my diaper, and I felt a burning hot flush come over my face (as well as my bottom!).  I was ABSOLUTELY sure she could tell what I had just done.  But much to my astonishment she just kept prattling on about a state property tax credit.  Whew!  Once our business was concluded, we left and got back into the car.  Daddy told me that I was very lucky.   He told me that by doing what he asked in the meeting, I had just saved myself that spanking in the parking lot!  Yet another bullet dodged!
     After a few more errands we decided to stop for lunch.  By the time we were seated and waiting for out food, my bottom was soaked.  I REALLY wanted to go and change my pull-up in the bathroom.  (Daddy was threatening to change me outside in the car!  EVERYBODY would see!)  I begged him to let me go to the bathroom to change MYSELF.  He looked at me and smiled.  He told me that because I had been such a good girl today, that "Yes", he would allow me to change myself.  I got up and practically ran to the ladies room.
     I don't think I have ever worked so fast!  I had to untie my boots, take off my pants, take off the old pull-up,  put on the new pull-up and put my pants and boots back on all before anyone else came into the one stall bathroom.  Let me tell you...the best Nascar pit crew had nothing on me at that moment!  I never even knew I could move that fast!  I guess I REALLY did not want to be seen changing myself in the women''s room of a Denny's!
     Anyway, the rest of the day proceeded fairly uneventfully.  We made two more stops, picked up the kids, got home, made dinner and managed to get some work done.  And then... Daddy and I began to butt heads.  I started getting mouthy and Daddy started getting pissy!  He said it was such a shame because I had been such a good girl all day.  But Daddy was having NONE of it.  He brought me upstairs and paddled my bottom 100 times!  He said, after all, it was a "Learning Day."  Even after my bottom got the message, my mouth did not.  I kept talking back to Daddy.   I ended up in the corner after that, and Daddy left me in there until I was thoroughly ashamed and sobbing quite pitifully.  Then he told me to come over to where he was sitting.  He allowed me to curl up in his lap and he calmed and comforted me.
     He gently lectured and scolded me...and reassured me that everything was okay and Daddy would take care of and protect me.  Those words felt like a warm blanket being draped all around me.  I felt like nothing could ever harm me; that Daddy wouldn't let it.  He was sweet and gentle for the rest of the night.  Daddy knew that this was the point (after the last 3 days) when I needed to be nurtured and loved.  There was a lot of holding, hugging and kissing.  He repeatedly stroked my hair and told me what a good girl I was.  He told me he would always love, cherish and protect me.  I am SO LUCKY!

P.S.  Daddy wanted me to talk about the new dress that came for me.  It is a cute little "BabyDoll" dress.  It is blue gingham and has lots of lace!  It has short little puffy sleeves and comes to just below the waist, and is sure NOT to cover my bum!  Daddy likes it so much, he has ordered me lace ankle socks to go with it.  It is very pretty...I love my new dress!  Thank you Daddy.

Revisitation Day 2

     And so we come to day 2.  The first time my Daddy changed me on Saturdaymorning , he opened up the tapes of the diaper and pulled it down.  There is always a rush of cold air on my damp skin when he does this.  Daddy pulled out the wipes and gently cleaned me.  Making sure not to miss any folds or crevices.  Once I  was all clean he left me naked and stood me up.  He took me to the other side of the bed  where he bent me over.  He gave me a lecture about why I was having to revisit this learning day.  I answered that it was because I hadn't learned my lesson the first time.  Daddy then proceeded to "lightly" paddle my bottom.  He stopped and walked to the opposite side of the bed and knelt down in front of my face.  He asked me what I had done wrong to deserve yet another "Learning Day".  I told him that I had STILL been trying to tell Daddy what to do and I was STILL trying to make decisions.  He asked me if I would be doing this again.  I answered very quietly "No."  Daddy whispered softly, "You will NOT forget THIS time."  I whimpered softly into my pillow.
     Then Daddy stood up and walked back around behind me.  I could hear him closing the cap on something and then all of a sudden I felt Daddy's finger slide inside my  bottom.  He started rubbing his finger all around inside my rectum and I could feel an intense burning sensation beginning to build.  I cried out, "No Daddy!"  Daddy stood up and picked up the paddle.   Daddy said this next set of spankings was for "telling" him I was going potty instead of "asking" him.  He paddled each cheek  a number of times separately and then the final set was hard and DEAD center!  Daddy said he was paddling me so hard because I was trying to act like a BIG gir.  It WAS very long and very hard, and I had a VERY hard time staying still.  I kept squirming.  Daddy warned me to stay still or he would have to start all over again.   I just whimpered at the very thought of that.  Daddy did not stop until I was totally bawling uncontrollably; at which point, he finally took pity on me.  I had curled myself up into a sobbing ball.   I heard him drop the paddle and he rushed to comfort me.  He laid down next to me and wrapped his strong protective arms around me.  He asked me if I knew that I was the most important thing in the world to him.  I said yes and then he asked if I knew that, why would I try and tell him what to do?  Wouldn't every decision he made be in MY best interest?  I told him he was right and I apologized.  He kissed my head and face.  He told me how proud he was of me for taking my punishment like a good girl.  Once I had stopped sobbing and my breathing had slowed, Daddy turned me over on my back and put a fresh diaper on me.  He stood me up, kissed me on the lips and hugged me VERY tightly!  I felt SO SAFE!
     Later that afternoon we had to go out so Daddy let me wear a pull-up instead of a regular diaper, which I was very thankful for.  (The other diapers he puts on  me are plastic and you can hear them when I walk!)  But just before we left he turned me over the end of the couch and put some Bengay in my bottom, just to be sure I remembered it was STILL "Learning Day" even though we would be out in public.  As if I could forget!  I was very careful not to "use" my diaper until the car ride home.  I had been deathly afraid of leaking through my pants and I had to pee REALLY badly!
     After we got home Daddy took me to the bedroom and changed me into a clean nightgown.  Then he laid me down on the bed.  He spread my legs and began to clean me with a soft baby wipe.  I felt a warm wave of love wash over me as he did this very tenderly and gently.  Then he wrapped my bottom in a fresh soft diaper.  Daddy said that I was his good little girl and I smiled up at him.  He took pity on me that night and didn't spank me, because my bottom was already very red and sore.  So I just fell asleep very happily in Daddy's arms.
     Day 3...and FINAL "Learning Day".  Will tell you all tomorrow how it winds up!

The Revisitation

     Today is Sunday and I am 1 day in to a 3 day "Learning" session.  I guess I should give you the background, as to why this has happened.  Daddy is home for a long weekend.  He took an extra day off from work on Monday and we thought last night would be a good night for poker.  (On poker night we have several friends over and one or two often stay over so they don't have to drive home)  So, on Friday night we had some company over.  I WAS trying to be on my best behavior, however, the "best laid plans of mice and men..." and all...ya' know?
    I guess I let fly with a lot of cursing, and some snide remarks...but hey...it was poker night!  If you wanna' hang with the big boys, you've got to act like a big girl right?  Wrong!  (According to Daddy.)  At one point, after I had TOLD Daddy that I was going to the bathroom instead of ASKING him if I could, he just lost it.  He pulled me aside and whispered very hotly in my ear,"You are being a VERY bad little girl!  Did you learn NOTHING from our last learning day?  Tomorrow, when we get home, a new "Learning Session" will  begin.  I am home for 3 days.  You will be punished and diapered until I go back to work on Tuesday morning.  You will learn once and for all that you do not tell Daddy what to do.  DADDY is the decision maker!  Do you understand me?!"  I looked at the floor and nodded shamefully.  Well, I was already in for it, so I just enjoyed the rest of my evening.  I knew that after our obligatory greasy diner breakfast with the guys on Saturday morning, my a--  was going to get it.
     As soon as we got home yesterday morning, Daddy had me take a shower to make sure that I was clean and shaven as I am supposed to be.  I thought Daddy was going to bring my clothes into the bathroom as he often does.  Instead, when I got out, there were no clothes.  I dried off and walked through the house naked to find Daddy.  He was sitting in the living room in front of the fireplace.  I stood as close as I could get to the fire because I was shivering from still being slightly wet.  Daddy got up and came over to me.  He kissed and touched my moist body all over.  He repeatedly whispered the reasons why he was going to punish me for 3 days, and why I deserved it.  He asked me if I understood and if I was ready.  I quietly whispered, "Yes Daddy.'  He led me up the stairs to the bedroom.
    The first thing Daddy did was to put on my onesie and nightgown...making sure to leave my bottom bare.  When I was half-dressed, he bent me over the bed and told me that he was going to give me an "easy" spanking to start with just to get me "warmed up."  He gave me 20 spanks with his hand and 20 whacks with the paddle.  It hurt, but not so bad that I cried.  I was still feeling a little defiant and wasn't going to let him see me cry over such an "easy" punishment.  Daddy then laid me down on my back and lifted my legs in the air.  He then proceeded to put a dose of Bengay inside my bottom before putting a diaper on me.  He taped up the diaper while I was moaning because of the cream.  He told me that I was NOT a big girl.  That I am his BABYDOLL.  I do not need to be grown up because I have my Daddy to make all my decisions for me.  The diaper was to remind me that I need to CONSTANTLY remember my place in our relationship...as Daddy's baby.  He also told me that EVERY time I needed to be changed, I would be punished as well.  He did not EVER want to have to revisit the lesson of this "Learning Session".  This was already session number 2 for telling Daddy what to do.  There would be NO third session for this reason!
     Every time Daddy changed me, he spanked me, paddled me and put MORE Bengay inside!  I was REALLY beginning to get the message from this experience!
     We are right in the middle of my punishment time, so I have to go now.  Daddy told me that I had to write about yesterday this morning, but after I am finished I have to get off the computer.  :(    He says that I will also have to tell you about the rest of my weekend on Tuesday, when it is all over.  I don't know what ELSE he has in store...but I will be sure to take mental notes for my next installment.
                   Sending out Love and Good Vibes to Everyone!

What DADDY Does With A Girl Who Won't Behave!

     So, If you all remember, I had some punishments remaining from the day before for several infractions.  The most severe of all, of course, was trying to slap Daddy.  Daddy could not paddle me that night because the children were home.  He was going to make up for that tonight!  We had to go out to run some errands first last night, but I knew I was in for it when I got home!  After we arrived home, I got busy doing laundry and making chicken stock for soup the next day.  (Hoping Daddy might forget about his promise the day before!)
    Once dinner was made and things quieted down,  Daddy asked me if I wanted to go get changed.  I nodded yes and Daddy led me up the stairs to the bedroom.  He slowly removed my clothes...first slipping my shirt up and over my head.  Then sliding my pants and undies down around my ankles and slipping them off my feet one at a time.  I stood there, shivering in just my socks.  Daddy ordered me to put my arms up above my head, which I did.  He was going to perform his "inspection" to make sure that I was properly shaven and clean.  He slid his hands down my arms and armpits, over my breasts, waist and hips and down my outer thighs and calves and then back up my inner thighs to finally reach HIS pussy.  He spent a long time there making sure that every fold and crevice was smooth as a baby.  When Daddy was fully satisfied with his inspection, he gently slipped the soft flannel nightgown over my head.
    He then  kissed my neck and shoulders very softly and whispered..."Are you ready to start your punishment?"  I sullenly nodded yes.  Daddy took my hand and led me over to the bed.  He bent me over it and lifted my nightgown.  He then explained to me that this would be the first of MANY spankings that night because of my atrocious behavior the day before.  I had behaved VERY badly...going so far as to even try and hit Daddy.  For this alone, I was going to be punished severely, but Daddy had also found out that I had gone potty 4 times THAT day without asking him.  :(   Needless to say, Daddy was VERY disappointed in me.
     Daddy started out with a short spanking using his hand, followed by a "light" round of paddling.   He said that was just for starters and there would be lots more to come throughout the evening.  I was then made to compose myself and go back downstairs so we could continue our evening and have dinner.  Every time I would get up for any reason, however, he would turn me over his knee and give me a good spanking. This constant "attention" kept my bottom sore and irritated all night.   At one point, I was starting to get just a little fresh, and Daddy immediately brought me upstairs and got out the paddle.  He had me up on the bed, and gave me a set of 20 "light" whacks with the paddle.  Now let me be clear, when I say "light" this refers to Daddy's idea of what a "light" spanking is...NOT MINE!  (It is enough to cause tears but not enough to turn me into a quivering mess.)
     The evening progressed much in the same fashion until about 8:30 p.m. when it was time to tuck in the little one.  I brushed his teeth, we said goodnight to Daddy, and I tucked him in.  I went back to the living room and got on the computer.  I told Daddy that I had to finish the chicken stock before going to bed, but as soon as it was done...so was I.  Daddy asked me if I was sure I WANTED to go to bed, seeing as how that meant that I would receive the last of my punishment.  Now, all of a sudden, I did not feel so tired.
     At 11:00 p.m. the soup was all done and I could not keep my eyes open any longer.  I told Daddy I was ready for bed.  He said okay and we went upstairs.  He told me to pile up 2 pillows on the bed and to lay myself over them...bottom up, which I did grudgingly.  Daddy also proceeded to give me my pacifier and another pillow to bury my head into.  *gulp*  This was going to be a bad one!  He lectured me about not asking him to go potty and told me that the first 4 sets were JUST for that. My bottom twitched and spasmed in anticipation of the paddle.  Daddy kept stroking it on my bottom as he was talking to me...making the waiting SO MUCH worse!
     Finally I felt him draw back and let the paddle fly.  When it finally connected, it made my whole body lurch forward.  Halfway through the first set, I did not know if I could stand it!  I was bouncing and jumping all over the bed just trying to hide my bottom from that DAMNED piece of wood! When he finally finished, after what seemed like an eternity, he put the paddle down, came over to where my head was and lifted my face to his.  He stroked my back and hair and told me that it was okay.  That Daddy was here.  He did this for a couple of minutes, then he asked me if I would like to take a break from the spanking.  I thankfully and tearfully said yes.  He got up and went back behind me.  I could hear him squirting lube on something, and then I could feel it on my bottom.  All of a sudden, without warning, I felt the string of graduated anal beads slipping into me.  As they went deeper and got bigger, I began to resist.  The further in they went, the more it hurt.  I was moving towards the other side of the bed, just struggling to get away from those horrible things.  Daddy warned me that I had better hold still, so I composed myself as best I could and took it.  Daddy inserted the beads all the way and left them there while he gave me yet another lecture about my behavior.  (I was softly whimpering and moaning the whole time.)
     Once Daddy finally took pity on me and removed the beads... I thought my punishment was over for the night.  Boy was I wrong!  Daddy had one more round with the paddle in store for me.  He began wailing on my bottom with LONG, HARD strokes of the paddle which he placed precisely DEAD center.  After each stroke he would ask questions like, "Who is your Daddy?"  and "Who is Daddy's BabyDoll?"  and "Will you EVER raise your hand to Daddy again?"  I am quite sure you know that by now, I was a big, snotty, crying mess.  I could barely answer his questions through the gasping and the tears.  By the time he was finished, I was limp, bawling and pretty pathetic to look at.  Daddy quickly put down the paddle and rushed to gather me up in his arms.  He rubbed my back, wiped my tears and kissed my head.  He rocked me gently while whispering, "Sshh...It's all over now."
     I know that what I did DEFINITELY deserved a punishment of this severity...but that does not mean that I like it, or find it easy to submit to.  It isn't, but such is my level of commitment and submission to Daddy, that I will take whatever punishment he deems necessary.  I am grateful that he thinks I am SO important and worthy of his time and attention.  Thank you Daddy.  I love you!

What Do You Do With A Girl Who Won't Behave?

     Boy...was I in rare form last night!  I honestly don't know what had gotten into me...I was pushing Daddy WICKED far last night...and he pushed back.  I guess I was just in some sort of devilish mood or something.
     After Daddy returned home for the day, I immediately began to annoy him.  I was being smart-mouthed and very fresh.  I think Daddy said,"Excuse me?" about a dozen times.  I could not seem to help myself, or should I say, my MOUTH?!   There were times that even I didn't believe what I was saying!  Daddy seemed very patient and tolerant at first.  However, he was not going to let me get away with my childish behavior.  He brought me into the living room and bent me over the couch.  He gave me a few good hard spankings to try and adjust my attitude.  Daddy used only his hand, but it still brought tears to my eyes.
     One would think that this would be enough of a deterant to make me behave like a good girl for at least the rest of the night.  Well...you would be wrong.  This actually made me more obstinate and defiant than ever.  I believe Daddy was getting really exasperated with me and was almost to the limits of what he was going to put up with.  Daddy finally reached his limit when I actually tried to slap him.  *shudder*  I SHOULD NEVER have done that!  Daddy stopped my hand in mid-flight and from the look on his face I knew I was in for some serious sh--.  (Why do I DO these things?!)
     Daddy was SUPER mad.  He pulled me out of the kitchen and into the living room.  He shoved me into the corner.  He didn't care that the kids were in the next room.  This offense was SO BAD that he didn't care if I was embarassed by them seeing me standing there.  I stood there shamefully staring at the floor.  I didn't dare move from that spot.  I knew what I did was wrong...terribly wrong and yet I somehow could not help myself.  I cannot explain my actions, other than to say, that I have felt the need, lately, to test Daddy.  It probably has something, if not everything, to do with his preoccupation with work lately...but that is NO EXCUSE for my behavior.  I should NEVER raise my hand or even my voice to Daddy.  I am truly VERY sorry.  :(
     When Daddy came back into the living room, he took me out of the corner and bent me over the couch again.  He lifted my nightgown to expose my naked bottom and then left the room.  I could hear him rummaging around in the bathroom.  Ugh...I knew what that meant!  When he came back into the room, he proceeded to give me ANOTHER lecture about my behavior and what would and would NOT be tolerated.  I gave a tearful apology, but I knew that wouldn't stop what was coming.  Daddy spread my cheeks and applied MORE Bengay inside my bum.  He followed that up with a few HARD spankings right dead center where the cream was.   Let me tell you...THIS HURTS!  He then made me sit down right on my bottom.
     Well, all of this had definitely taken the fight out of me.  After that, I just sat there very quietly.  I was very tired and I just wanted to go to sleep.  Daddy brought me upstairs and tucked me in under the blankets.  He then took out the "Mute Button" and shoved it in my mouth.  He smiled and said, "Ha!  It works!"  He told me he would be up later to give me a GOOD spanking with the paddle, after our oldest was asleep.   And even though I was terribly nervous about what was to come, I somehow still managed to drift off to sleep.
     Daddy was either super kind...or super tired, but he never did paddle me last night.  (He went to sleep before our oldest son.)  But this morning when he left, he reminded me that our oldest would not be home tonight, and that the little one will sleep through ANYTHING!  My bottom is already quivering with nervous anticipation.  I know what is coming and I can't say that I don't deserve it...but I think the anticipation of a long hard paddling might be worse than the paddling itself.  But I WILL take my punishment like a good girl.  I broke several of Daddy's Rules and must face the consequences.   I am VERY SORRY DADDY.   I know what I did was wrong and I WILL try to be a good girl.  I promise.

P.S.  I will tell you all about my punishment tonight in tomorrow's installment!

Daddy's Property

     Last night I awoke at about 4 a.m. to feel Daddy's penis entering me from behind.    I felt his arm encircle my waist and pull me hard and fast against his chest.  He whispered in my ear, "You are MY BabyDoll!" and I responded, "Yes Daddy!"  He used his hands to push and pull my hips hard against his groin.  It felt incredible.  I belong to Daddy...his to take whenever and wherever he deems necessary.  I have no say in the matter, but that is what I wanted.  To be Daddy's submissive wife and BabyDoll.  I am Daddy's property.  I belong to him, as does my body; no longer mine to decide what to do with, but his to use as he sees fit.  I have submitted to him in every way which means giving up all ideas that I have my own free will.  I must listen to, and obey Daddy.
     Now, that does not mean that I ALWAYS comply immediately, or easily.  As a matter of fact, as I am writing this, I am having a hard time sitting because my bottom is on fire from the inside!  This morning, as I was getting the kids off to school, I was cleaning up from breakfast and I was feeling rather "grown-up" and I cursed at Daddy.  I not ONLY cursed, but the words were directed AT him. I called him a DipSh--!  Oooops!  (That was a mistake!)  He dragged me out of the kitchen (away from the kids), bent me over the couch and put a good dose of Bengay up inside my rectum.  I then had to return to the kitchen to finish the dishes.  It was not easy to compose myself... it is STILL stinging!
     I guess that I will always have the need  to test Daddy's limits and see how far he will let me push the boundaries of what he considers "good" behavior.  When I have pushed too far...I must accept the consequences, which I do humbly...and often!   But if you ask me...Daddy likes to see a little fight in his "Jersey Girl."  Otherwise, he might NEVER get to use his paddle!  ;)

P.S.  Daddy said I was lucky the kids were home, or I would have gotten corner time too!

Reprieve!

     Well, Daddy finally goes back to work today. :(  I have conflicting feelings about this.  My heart aches when I see him walk out the door, but my bottom heaves a huge sigh of relief!  I was lucky, you could say, last night.  Daddy fell asleep and I never DID get my last spanking for the day.  (Yay!)
     This morning when we woke up Daddy was very generous.  He threw the blankets off me and for a split second I thought he was going to remember about the night before and give me a spanking!  But instead, he moved slowly down my body and buried his face between my thighs.  Oh yes!  (I was dying to come because I hadn't for several days.)   It was so soft and warm and lovely. There is nothing quite like the feeling of Daddy's lips and tongue on HIS pussy.  Daddy is very adept at this task and I came rather quickly.   I then nuzzled into Daddy's chest.  I could smell myself on his beard as I snuggled in closer...(Daddy says it's the best taste and smell in the world  :)  We cuddled like that for a couple of minutes, then I said I had to get up  and get breakfast ready for the kids.  Daddy grabbed my arm and pulled me quickly up over his knee.  He then proceeded to give me a "light" spanking just to make sure I wouldn't forget the last day and a half.  I assured him that I would not!  My bottom is still EXTREMELY sore from Daddy's "attention."  (Sitting down was a REAL problem yesterday!)
     However, I do believe that all in all, this was a pretty "mild" "Learning Day."  Daddy is still VERY much preoccupied with his job and until things work themselves out...I am afraid that I will have to take a backseat.  (Ha...no pun intended!)  I look forward to having Daddy's FULL attention back very soon.  Until then, I suppose I should just keep my mouth shut and say "Yes Daddy."  :)

One If By Hand...If Two Then By Paddle!

     So, I guess my attitude had not changed significantly enough for Daddy by this morning because I earned myself two ROUGH spankings before noon!  The first one was just because it was a "Learning Day" and Daddy said that I needed to understand and be aware of that.  Daddy sat on the bed and pulled me over his knee.  He pinned my legs down so I could not struggle too much.  Daddy spanked me very hard with his bare hand.  I was in tears by the second set.  After my spanking Daddy stroked my back until I had calmed down some.  He kissed me and wiped my tears and we decided to go down to the living room and watch some T.V.
    I don't think we were down there for even 10 minutes before Daddy was hauling my a-- upstairs again for another round.  He said that I had a bad attitude and it needed adjusting.  He had me kneel on the bed again, face down and bottom up.  He decided to give me another 20 whacks with the paddle.  That thing REALLY hurts.  Each stroke sent shock waves through my body.  At first, my body fought against the spanking.  I was bucking and kicking just trying to get away from that awful paddle.  Eventually, I lost the will to fight and my body went limp.  I just buried my face in the pillow and bawled.  When Daddy was finished, he knew that I had hit my threshold.  He gathered me up in his arms and rocked me gently, back and forth for a long time.  When I finally managed to compose myself, he lifted my face to his and kissed me very gently.  He told me how much he loved me and why he had to punish me yet again.  I said that I understood and I nuzzled in closer to him.
     If you can believe it, I actually got 6 swats in the kitchen not an hour after my paddling for telling Daddy what to do!  (It was a fairly minor incident and since Daddy had JUST paddled my bottom, he just bent me over the kitchen counter and swatted my behind.  Believe me, I FELT it after the paddling I just had!  Daddy says that I NEED to learn who is in charge and that he will MAKE SURE that I do!
     I don't know about you...but I for one believe him!

What Daddy Did Last Night

     So when Daddy arrived home last night, he was bearing pizza!  Yummy!  But while I was eating, he kept staring at me.  As soon as I was finished, he asked me if I was ready to go upstairs.  I grimly nodded yes and got up and walked very slowly up the stairs.  When we got to the bedroom, he asked me AGAIN if I knew why we were having a "Learning Day."  I said "Yes, because I should NEVER tell Daddy what to do."  And then Daddy asked "Why should you never tell Daddy what to do?"  "Because Daddy is the decision maker."  I said meekly.   He nodded in agreement and motioned for me to come to him.
     Then he had me get up on the bed again, kneeling with my head down on a pillow and my bottom up in the air.  He proceeded to give me another "silent spanking" with a little more cream this time.  The burn was much more intense than last time.  Just as I began to protest, Daddy struck me with the paddle.  He spanked me 20 times with that huge horrible thing!  It is long, hard and very heavy! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!  Once it was finally over (which felt like an eternity) he hugged me and kissed me and told me he loved me.  I was not placated though.
     (Daddy said I forgot to add a part...I can't believe I forgot...after this spanking Daddy put in the anal plug.  And he DID NOT insert it gently!  I was REALLY pissed off about that!  It did NOTHING to help my attitude!)
     I did not react well to this punishment.  I should say, Daddy was not happy with my reaction to my punishment.  After Daddy disciplines me, I am usually much more humbled, loving, and I am usually very affectionate with Daddy.  This punishment had the opposite effect.  I was angry and silent and distant.  I should have known that my actions, at this point, would have VERY serious consequences.  Daddy was not going to stand for my sullen behavior.  After a few short minutes of tolerating my "attitude", he marched me right back upstairs...put me up on the bed, removed the plug, and used his finger to put a whole LOT of Bengay inside my bottom!  The burn was horrific and instantaneous.  I started wailing and writhing around on the bed like a freshly caught fish!  Daddy immediately scooped me up in his arms, and rocked me back and forth while I cried.  He kept repeating the words, "It's okay.  Daddy's here."
     We stayed that way for a while.  I cried, he rocked and soothed and comforted.  Eventually, the burning became less intense and Daddy brought me back downstairs and bundled me up on the couch next to him.  Once I had finally calmed down, I realized how tired I was, both mentally and physically.  So I just snuggled up next to Daddy and fell asleep.
     Right at this moment, Daddy is dropping the two kids off at school.  I know it is still a "Learning Day" and that when he comes home, it will start all over again.  But...he has promised no Bengay for the day.  :)  Wait...is that a good thing or a bad thing?  What ELSE does he have in mind??!!

My Punishment

I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the decision maker.  I will never tell Daddy what to do.  Daddy is the 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There! Over 100 times...I hope Daddy is happy.  :(
      

The Storm Has Come...

     I should have known that last post would come to no good.  As soon as Daddy woke up and read it, he wrote that last comment.  And so my respite is over and my punishment begins.  Daddy had me go upstairs to meet him in the bedroom.  He proceeded to tell me that I was right about him not being focused on me, and how that was all going to change for the next 40 hours or so.  (Daddy has taken Monday off)   He gave me a lecture about how I have been mouthy and telling him what to do lately. He told me that HE is the decision maker, and that I should NEVER, EVER presume to tell him what he, or we, should do.  I may make suggestions, but I am NOT in charge.
     The next thing he did was he had me kneel on the bed so he could administer a "silent spanking".  He pulled down my pajama flap, pulled my cheeks apart and put just a small amount of Bengay inside my bottom.  As soon as it began to burn he decided to test out his new paddle.  And Daddy gave me a real spanking while the Bengay did it's thing!  To be fair, Daddy was "gentle" (relatively speaking!) with the paddle because it was my first time.  But I was crying by the end and I believe Daddy was happy with the results.
      He had to go out for the afternoon and he has left me a punishment assignment.  The first thing was to write about what JUST happened to me and why.   (Which I am doing right now!)  The next is that I have to KEEP writing about what is, has, and will happen to me over the next 40 hours.  And the last part of my punishment will be my next post.  Stay tuned!    :(

The Calm Before The Storm???

     Daddy has been very tolerant lately.  :/   By that I mean that he has been letting things slide like my saying "No" and my talking back to him, and my use of profanity.  I am unsure how to handle this.  My mouth has definitely been writing checks that my bottom can't cash.  I have been fresh and snotty.  It actually earned me a small spanking with his hairbrush last night...but he was FAIRLY gentle, and quick.  Don't misunderstand...Daddy has spanked me a couple of times, but they were pretty quick and benign for Daddy.  His punishments are usually very long and VERY severe to ensure that they leave a lasting impression, both physically and mentally.  I can only attribute his lack of focus to the fact that we have a lot going on outside the home right now and his mind is extremely preoccupied.  I mean, I was cursing up a storm last night and he barely batted an eyelash!  I was actually having to self-correct my own vernacular!
     We are both extremely stressed and busy right now.  But his disinterest in correcting me makes me feel unsafe.  I believe the whole reason a punishment makes me feel better (afterwards that is!) is because it shows me that Daddy cares enough to take the time and effort to correct me.  It tells me that I am worth SO MUCH to Daddy that he will not let me harm myself, or our relationship, with inappropriate and destructive behavior.  When he fails to do so, it begins to make me feel neglected.  I know that may sound silly, but it is how I feel.  I am sure there are other "subs", "baby girls", etc. out there who can understand this strange emotion.  :)
     I should not complain though.  A respite for my bottom, however brief, is always appreciated by my lower half!  ;)  Daddy keeps telling me that I have gone too far with my "talking back."  He says that I need a "Learning Day" very soon.  I don't know if he will follow through on that threat or not, but I am not looking forward to him using his new "accoutrement".  (I.E. his new wooden paddle and anal plug)  The paddle is 36" long and looks more like a cricket bat than a spanking implement!  If he swings that with full force I am in for a VERY rough ride!  :(
     So I suppose that I should just keep my mouth shut and enjoy my small amount of "spanking-free" time.  I am sure that Daddy will remember all too soon what a bad, mouthy little girl I really am and give me just the punishment I deserve!  I only hope I can keep myself in check until then!  ;)

                                         Sending out all the love in the world...

                                                     *HUGS*