Monday, January 12, 2015

The Taste of Soap

    Daddy washed my mouth out with soap for the first time this morning.  Let me begin by saying that just last night Daddy had said that he was tired of my cursing.  Admittedly I can sound like a sailor on shore leave at times...but I somehow view this as my way of releasing the pressure that would otherwise cause me to explode.  But Daddy said that he had been lenient about it long enough and that it was time for me to learn.  He told me that if I was to curse again, that he would wash my mouth out with soap.
     Smash cut to...getting out of bed this morning. Both Daddy and I had woken up grumpy and tired, which is never a good thing.  We started arguing almost immediately about anything and everything. Then I made the mistake of actually calling my Daddy a curse word.  He grabbed me by the shoulders, picked me up and forced me into the bathroom despite my fighting him all the way.  He forced the bar of soap in my mouth and held it there.  He then pulled it out as it scraped against my teeth. I use a pink rose scented bar soap in our bathroom and it made my mouth taste like pot pourri... highly unpleasant.
     I rinsed and spit until all of the soap was out of my mouth, but now the inside of my mouth was squeaky and felt, well, for lack of a better word...polished.  It was not enjoyable.  And yet...
     I did not STOP there.  I actually felt it necessary to keep arguing (and cursing) thereby bringing on round two of the soap.  This time was even worse than before.  There was so much soap stuck in my teeth that it took forever to get it out.  Even after I had gotten all of the soap out of my mouth, the taste wouldn't go away for well over two hours.
    I will try VERY hard to think about my words and not use language that is unbecoming to a lady.  It's just that when I get mad, I tend to just say whatever pops into my head.  Not always smart!  But I will do my best to "clean up" my act and to make my Daddy proud of me.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

It's Been A While!

     Wow!  Has it been a while since I have posted!  I sincerely apologize to anyone who has been kind enough to follow my postings.  The new business that Daddy and I started has taken up ALL of our time...literally!  It has also put a TON of new stresses and pressures on our Daddy and BabyDoll relationship.  We have had to come up with many new strategies for making this work in our everyday business life.  Not always easy!  ( and it doesn't always work! ) I can tell you there have been many "spur of the moment" and "off the cuff" discipline sessions.  Always, quick, creative and painful!    
     I have found it very difficult to stay submissive to Daddy when I am expected to be in charge at work, with Daddy, all day every day.  I can assure you, however, that Daddy doesn't let me get away with much!  When I step out of line, I get that look which tells me that my bottom is in for it later! There tend to be more silent spankings at work...until Daddy can get me home to truly punish me.
     Since I last posted...there have been some changes in mine and Daddy's relationship.  Daddy is now my Daddy, in EVERY sense of the word.  Whenever we are not at work, I am put in a diaper.  I now get to have pacifiers, bottles and toys!  Daddy has truly become my protector and caregiver.  I find that as soon as Daddy puts me in my little baby dress and puts a ribbon in my hair, I regress right back to being two years old and it feels wonderful!  It's amazing how it feels to have my Daddy hold me in his arms, while giving me a bottle, stroking my hair and telling me that everything will be alright...that Daddy will make everything okay.  All the fear and worry that I have melts away and there is no better feeling in the world! (More posts to come on this topic...)
     Daddy is still HOH and making all the decisions as before, his role has just expanded to include the caring and nurturing of me!  This is not exactly how this DD relationship started out...but this has been the natural progression for US.  Not that this would be appropriate for everyone, but for us...it works.
     I am happier than ever with my Daddy and our relationship. I think that all along I wanted to be "babied" but never really consciously knew it.  Now I can truly say that Daddy is in charge of EVERYTHING!  (Even my bed time...Daddy doesn't like a cranky BabyDoll. 
     Now that the business has settled down a little,  I promise to start posting again.  Daddy has ordered me to do so...so it WILL be happening!
     I will let you know how things go tonight...Daddy says I have been a very disrespectful and naughty baby today.  I think my bottom might be in trouble...*cringe*

Monday, March 24, 2014

Daddy's Branching Out...

     I apologize for my extended absence!  Life is just CRAZY busy right now!  Trying to get a new business off the ground has about a billion steps; and they all involve driving somewhere!  I have spent the last two weeks in my car, and things will not be letting up anytime soon.  But I did want to share a quick incident with you.
     With all of our new corporate doings, I have had to be (and Daddy has required me to be) a very strong, loud and insistent business woman.  He wants me to be able to haggle for the best price from the vendors we deal with, but than he expects me to turn around and ask permission to use the bathroom.  I don't mind telling you, at times this seems like an impossible task to me.  I often find myself incapable of mastering the two and I have been failing miserably at it.  Oh, I've got the smart and sassy businesswoman part down...it's just the submissive wife part that seems to suffer.
     Anyway, Daddy has been very upset with me and my behavior as of late.  He thinks my business persona is carrying too much over into our personal relationship.  He thinks I am acting too much like a "big girl" when I should be Daddy's BabyDoll.  Two nights ago, Daddy had enough.  He told me to go into the bathroom and take a shower and shave for him.  I got up and went into the bathroom and did as I was told.  When I got into the shower, I saw the enema bag hanging there.  I immediately felt a knot in my stomach.
     Daddy came into the bathroom and pulled back the curtain on the shower.  He looked at me standing there, wet, naked and frightened.  He saw me look at the enema bag and he smiled.  He told me that he had to cleanse me, in SOME way, to rid me of all the bad things I had been saying and doing.  I just whimpered.  Daddy waited for me to finish shaving and then he told me to bend over.  He lubricated the tip and inserted the tube, then unclamped the hose.  I could feel the cool water rushing into me extremely fast.  It hurt and made my stomach start cramping immediately.  I was crying softly as Daddy scolded me.  He told me that just spanking and corner time were not working on keeping my attitude in check and so it was time for some new forms of punishment. I kept moaning and whining until I heard Daddy say, "Good girl".  The bag was empty, and Daddy slowly removed the tube.
    He then helped me out of the shower and dried me with the towel.  I had a very hard time holding it in, just standing there.  I asked Daddy if I could go to the bathroom and he said no.  I just started to cry, saying I couldn't hold it any longer.  Daddy finished drying me off, kissed my head, and told me I could use the toilet.  Thank God!  I had never felt so relieved in all my life.  Things could have gone horribly wrong if he'd made me wait any longer!
     I think I was in the bathroom for half an hour or more, before I emerged.  I definitely had much less fight and attitude in me after that!  (Much less of ANYTHING in me after that!)  I just went upstairs and collapsed on the bed.  Daddy put a clean nightgown on me, and put me in a diaper.  Then he tucked me in, kissed me and said goodnight.  He told me he knew that I would be a much better BabyDoll in the morning...and wouldn't you know it...I was!
                                                Love and Best Wished to Everyone!

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Perils of Stress

     I mentioned yesterday about the stress Daddy and I are under...right?  I believe I also mentioned my inability to stay out of trouble...well, shall we get straight to it then?!  Daddy and I were trying to talk about the decor and design of our new business.  Well, one thing led to another and suddenly we were arguing.  Daddy was not having it, so he grabbed me by the shoulders and put me right in the corner and yanked my pants down.  Now, normally, I would have accepted what he did without question.  But today, I was pissed off.
    We had both been working VERY hard, and that morning was no exception.  I had just finished cooking breakfast, doing the dishes, folding and putting away a load of laundry and a host of other things.  I had just made both of us a hot cup of tea, and all morning, I had been looking forward to sitting down with it.  When Daddy sent me to the corner, and I saw him plop himself down in his chair with HIS nice hot cup of tea, I just went ballistic!   Why should HE get to sit down and enjoy himself, when I had worked harder ALL morning?!
     I yelled to Daddy that I didn't want to be in the corner.  He said, "You stay there!"  I stomped my feet and turned myself around and shouted, "No!"  Well, this did not please Daddy.  He came storming over to me, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me up the stairs, kicking and screaming the whole way.  (Kids were at school, BTW, no worries!)  When we reached the bedroom, Daddy threw me face down, a__ up on the bed.  He grabbed the BIG paddle and just let loose.
     The first blow landed like a thunderclap.  It rocked me to my core...I immediately stood up and yelled out, "Oh F__k!"  Daddy pushed me back down over the bed and continued to beat my bottom.  I screamed like I have NEVER screamed before.  I was begging and pleading for him to stop.  I had never experienced so much pain with each individual swing of that paddle.  (A full 24 hours later, I still cannot sit down.)  When Daddy was finished, I collapsed into a heap on the floor, shaking and bawling my eyes out.
     During the paddling, the force of his blows were so intense, that I managed to urinate all over the end of the bed, the floor and Daddy's legs.  Daddy scooped me up off the floor and laid me down across the bed.  He told me that little girls who have temper tantrums, get treated like the babies that they are. He slowly cleaned me up, diapered me and put a fresh clean onesie and nightgown on me.  He told me that I had been a very bad girl, and I was to spend the whole day in bed.  He said that I was not to get out of bed for any reason, or I would be in some REAL trouble.  I nodded slowly and silently to everything he said.  When I was all clean and fresh, Daddy tucked me in.  He brought me cold juice in my sippy cup and put my pacifier in my mouth.  He kissed my forehead and said, "There.  Now you are back to being my BabyDoll again."  Then he smiled and  I knew I was forgiven.
     As badly as my bottom hurt, and still does, I laid there feeling very content and very loved.  As much as I wanted out of that bed, I knew that Daddy's punishment was fair, just and NECESSARY. I have never behaved so defiantly and my hope is to never do so again.  But I am no angel and we shall see, what we shall see!  ;)   I just laid there, closed my eyes, and dreamed about my Daddy.     :)  

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I Had It Coming

     Sorry for not posting for so long!  Daddy and I are super busy with our new business venture  and we have been just crazed lately.  Being at work for eighteen hours a day just leaves no time for blogging!  :(   Needless to say, Daddy has NOT been happy with me lately.  We have had a LOT going on during this past week.  We have had a plethora of appointments and meetings and NO "Daddy and BabyDoll" time.  I have been mouthing off and being disrespectful to my Daddy.  I do not act this way on purpose...it is just that when Daddy is unable to punish me the way he wants, when he wants,and I need, I tend to start to rebel.  We have also had company staying with us, therefore, most traditional spankings have been out of the question.  I have gotten several lectures, and one silent spanking, but no hand or paddle spankings (or corner time) for a couple of days.  This is unusual and distressing.  While at work yesterday, I even mouthed off to Daddy.  In front of the entire staff, he ordered me downstairs to the basement.  Everybody simultaneously said, "Ooooohh!"  A couple of them giggled.  One person said, "You're in trouble!"  I said, "I guess SO."
     I sheepishly followed Daddy down into the basement.  He took me into the boiler room and shut the door behind him.  He turned to me and said, "Being fresh to Daddy?  And in front of the staff no less!"  He pushed me face down over a folding table and held me there.  He spanked me good and hard, over my pants.  First one cheek, then the other in turn.  It was hard enough to actually bring a small tear to my eye.  When he was finished, he pulled me up to face him.  I looked sorrowfully up at him and whispered, "I am sorry Daddy."   I did not mean to respect my Daddy.  Especially in front of his staff.  I was truly ashamed of my behavior.  He told me that when he got home that night, I would be taught a severe lesson.  I knew he was right and that I deserved whatever I got.  I said, "Yes Daddy."  Then he kissed me and sent me home to await my fate.
     Daddy called at about 8 o'clock and said he was on his way home.  All of a sudden, I was both excited and terrified.  When Daddy gets this upset, he is extremely calm.  Almost...unnervingly calm.  It's enough to drive me to distraction!  I nervously waited his arrival.  When I heard the engine pull up in the driveway, my stomach tightened and I felt sick.  I heard his footsteps on the porch, and I got up to greet him at the door.  As soon as he entered the house and had his coat off, he ordered me to the bedroom.
     He pulled out a small rocking chair with no arms on it, and he sat down.  It was at this point that I noticed he had the wooden spatula in his hand...my LEAST favorite spanking implement.  It has a terrible sting to it, that lingers for hours!  He told me to remove my pants and shoes and come to him.  I did as I was told and removed my pants and shoes and stood before him.  He then bent me over his knees.  He tickled my naked bottom with the spatula while he chastised my behavior over the last few days.  He told me that I was acting too much, like a big girl.  He said this spanking was going to remind me that I am Daddy's BabyDoll, and NOT a big girl at all.  He said, "Twenty sets."  I just whimpered.  He then proceeded to spank each cheek twenty times, each in it's own turn. (Then 19 on each cheek etc.)  By the end of the first set, I was already tearing up.  By the end of all twenty sets, I was crying like Daddy's little baby girl.  Which, I am pretty sure, is the desired effect.  Daddy then pulled me up into his lap and rocked me back and forth.  He was stroking my hair and kissing my head.  He said, "It's okay, it's all over... for now.  Daddy forgives you."  I just nuzzled in and let him rock me back and forth.
     Before I was allowed to go downstairs, however, Daddy had one more little trick up his sleeve.  He bent me over at the waist and gave me a quick silent spanking.  Daddy said that this would help me to remember that I am Daddy's BabyDoll.  As if I could forget with my A__ stinging the way it was!  I somehow knew, though, that this wasn't then end of my punishment for the evening.  But I had no idea of when or what Daddy had planned for the rest of the night.
    The next  3 hours passed rather uneventfully.  It was about 12:30 a.m. last night when Daddy told me to go to bed and he would be up in a minute.  When he came upstairs he told me to stand up, which I did.  He then turned me around, lifted up my nightgown and bent me over the bed.  I could hear him fiddling with something, but I wasn't sure what it was.  Then I felt a gloved finger push inside my rectum.  He was using lube, so that wasn't too bad.  But then he slipped in another finger...and then another.  It hurt and I whined for Daddy to stop.  He said that it was his fault for neglecting my anus so much and that he would be sure to rectify that situation.  Then he pulled his hand out from inside me and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I went to get up and Daddy pushed me back down on the bed.  He spread my bottom open and entered me with his penis.  I cried out for Daddy to stop; that it hurt.  He told me this wasn't supposed to feel good, that it was part of my punishment.  I tried very hard to relax my bottom to make it more comfortable.  Daddy kept scolding me the whole time.  Telling me why my behavior had hurt and disappointed him SO much.  I just cried and repeated the words, "I'm sorry Daddy."  And I truly was.  I had let Daddy down and it made me feel horrible, even worse than my bottom felt right at that moment.
     When Daddy was finished, he slowly pulled his penis out of my anus.  Then he, very gently and tenderly,  wrapped me up in his arms and held me quietly for a long time.  Then he told me how precious I am to him and how he wants me to be better.  I just immersed myself in his arms and his love, always knowing that everything he does is out of his love and devotion for me.  And I, in turn, love and respect him for that.
     I tend to forget myself, meaning my BabyDoll self, when out in the "vanilla" world and it is very hard to change gears, and mindset, quickly.  Try as I might, I often break Daddy's rules.  And now that Daddy and I are in business together, I have a sinking feeling my bottom is going to HATE me!  Daddy said that from now on, the repercussions of my actions will be felt IMMEADIATELY.  Even if that means spanking me in public.  *Yikes!*  Here's hoping I learn how to behave better...quickly!  But let's face it...you ALL know that I probably won't!  Stay tuned...   ;)
                         Wishing Everyone Peace, Love and  Every Happiness!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Chattel... Or Something More?

     Being owned does not feel like I thought it would.  I belong to someone.  I have submitted, I am HIS property.  I must do as I am told, sans free-will.  Yet I have NEVER been happier in my whole life!  If you had described my life NOW, to my 29 year old self, I would have told you that you were crazy!  That it was impossible to live that way, and not to mention grossly unfair to women.  Boy, would I have been wrong!  Ten years later, I am not just older, but much wiser.  The choices I make in life are much more thought out and deliberate.  It is unfortunate that some people in the Vanilla world condemn our type of lifestyle, because they truly just MISUNDERSTAND it.
     Belonging to my husband and being his property gives me a much needed sense of place and purpose.  I am now the most cherished, valued and loved thing he owns.  By giving him full control over me, it turned Daddy into a new man.  He takes his authority over me, and as the Head of Household, as the huge responsibility that it is.  He tries harder than ever to make sure that I (and the children) are ALWAYS safe, healthy and happy.  I have never before seen, nor felt, the outpouring of emotion and love I get from him now.  It's like someone has flipped the "ON" switch in our relationship; and the feeling is amazing.  I know this is an oxymoron, but totally submitting and belonging to someone is the most exhilarating and freeing experience of my entire life.  I highly recommend it!
     So, when Daddy called me up at 11:30 this morning and told me that when he got home, he was going to shower me and dress me b/c Daddy needed some "BabyDoll" time, I was more than eager to agree.  I love it when Daddy shows me this kind of attention.  He is very loving, gentle and affectionate.  It is also a special bonding time between the two of us, and helps me to remember my place in our relationship.  I am NOT in charge.  All that matters is Daddy's will and what he wants.
     After our long day, we met back at home, children in tow.  I managed to get everyone fed, and done with their homework.  At which point, Daddy took me into the bathroom.  He slowly undressed me, one article of clothing at a time. Then he turned on the water and helped me into the shower.  He used the body wash and washcloth to clean every last inch of me...making sure not to neglect anywhere!  Then he stood back and watched as I made sure to shave every hair off my lower body for Daddy.   When I had finished, I stepped out of the tub and Daddy dried me off with the towel.  Then he used his hands to feel every inch of my body...making sure I hadn't missed and stray hairs.  He then put me in my pink oneise and nightgown; with a diaper underneath of course  And to top off the ensemble, a white ribbon in my hair.  Daddy smiled, hugged me tight and whispered, "Mmmm...my BabyDoll!"
     I felt so warm, loved and secure in the arms of my Daddy.  This is when the world feels right to me.  This is when I am happiest.  This is where I belong!  And Daddy is who I belong too.  I am his to do with as he pleases...and THAT pleases ME to no end.  I never knew the joys of submission until now.  I don't remember my old life...only life with Daddy.  And I wouldn't have it any other way!   :)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Out Of Control

     When I awoke yesterday morning, I could feel real life come crashing back in.  When the Vanilla world starts melting into my happy DD/bg home life, the results are rarely harmonious. The kids have been on their February break, and I (and Daddy) in turn have also taken some time off.  We have both let some things slide for a few days and I woke up feeling like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Daddy and I are also putting together a new business venture and that has eaten up all of our time over the last 6 weeks.  Things are coming down to the wire and we are both beginning to feel extremely stressed.  The added pressure of feeling like my house was beginning to fall apart was just too much.  I take GREAT pride in the way I keep my house.  I cannot function in filth and chaos...things must be orderly and neat at all times.  Otherwise, I start to feel very unsettled and anxious.
     Feelings like these, can only lead to self-destructive behavior on my part.  They will lead me to speak inappropriately and out of turn. I also tend to be disrespectful to Daddy and be fresh.  And worst of all, I will challenge his authority as HOH.  Daddy tells me that this is when I try to act like a "big girl."  This sort of behavior is sure to land me in the direct line of fire from the paddle and even the threat of that is not enough to deter me. I am terribly aware of the consequences of my actions and still cannot seem to stop myself.
     Yesterday morning started out as such.  I should have known the day would not run smoothly when I woke up.  I awoke at 4:36 a.m. and tried to get out of bed.  Daddy would not let me and this annoyed me greatly.  I was under pressure...I had STUFF TO DO!!!  By the time I was allowed out of bed, at 6 a.m., I already felt like I was behind the eight ball.
     I was being bossy and mouthy.  I knew full well that I was pushing Daddy to his breaking point, and I didn't care.  When he told me that he didn't like my behavior and why, my response was, "So?!"  That was it.  Daddy dragged my butt upstairs.  threw me over the end of the bed and yanked my pants down.  He then proceeded to say, "So you think you're a BIG girl huh? Well, I will show you how BIG girls get treated!"  He then paddled my bottom.  First one cheek, then the other and then both in unison.  The whole time he lectured me about how I have to learn my place.  I cried and answered, "Yes Daddy!"  I pleaded with him to stop.  Eventually he did; but then he sat down next to me and pulled me over his knee.  I knew this was NOT over.  He then rubbed my bottom with his hand while telling me how much he loved and cherished me.  He then explained that this punishment was for my own good.  That I must learn to respect my Daddy and not challenge him.  I tearfully agreed.  Then he gave me another set of twenty hard spankings with his hand.  Occasionally stopping to rub my bum and say, "Sshh...it's alright."  When the spanking was over, I heaved a sigh of relief.  I went to stand up and Daddy pushed me face down back on the bed and held me there with his hand.  I could feel him playing with something in his hand.  Then I felt him spread my bottom open...I knew what it was!  I then felt Daddy's finger slip inside me and I could feel the burning sensation starting to build; a silent spanking.  It was a tri-fecta of spankings today!   :(
     I whimpered softly into the blankets. When he was finished, he stood up and pulled me up next to him.  He lifted my chin with his finger and stared into my eyes which were full of tears.  He said, "You are going to be my GOOD little girl now...aren't you?"  I quietly responded, "Yes Daddy."  He kissed the top of my head and said, "Good girl!"  Somehow...I felt better.  For all the pain and embarrassment, I felt better.  When I feel out of control, I need my Daddy to reign me back in and make me feel safe and secure again.  I always want Daddy to correct me and show me all the love and attention I need...no matter what the consequences!   :)